I started working out when a free trial came up at the local gym, I'd joined gyms before but never had the confidence to go by myself, and never felt that I pushed myself if I went with someone else. I was terrified that past experiences would rear their heads again if I put too much focus on my body and what I was eating, because I'm a recovered bulimic. I ended up making excuses to avoid having to look at myself or think about anything because I was so scared of going back to my old ways, I never realised that focusing on those things was exactly what I needed to do in order to truly recover. Recovery from an eating disorder is not just about putting on weight, but sufferers are rarely afforded much in the way of support if their BMI is low, and that's exactly the problem, even at my sickest when I would faint from malnutrition I was always over my suggested BMI.
I needed to do something to improve my mental health because anxiety was beginning to take over, so, with a huge amount of support from a close friend, I took on a full membership at the gym. 2020 has been a difficult year to get the full benefit of my membership, but having found how many benefits both physical and mental I got in such a small amount of time, I worked hard to continue my progress at home. I went from couch potato to being told I inspired people with my motivation seemingly overnight.
I am currently in the best shape I've ever been in my life, my outlook is far more positive and I look forward to my next workout because I know how it's going to make me feel. In all honesty, the physical effects have always been just a side effect of the only Mental Health medicine I've ever taken that's worked, so if I can look better, feel better and be better without adding chemicals to my system, then that to me is an all around win.
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